Socks and Salami
by Ronnie.icklekins.is.red.hot
Summary: I'm so glad I put on old socks." I go looking for just a room to stay in after my old roommate gets engaged and I find the one I think is the best. But I find it has a problem with "Salami". It won't be what I thought. The surprises I find aren't happy.
1. Socks

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

Chapter one-Socks

"Gosh, I am SO glad I put on old socks today." I said quietly to myself. I looked up and saw a girl about 13 looking at me. "Hi," I said. "so, you ever, uh, ….?" The little girl just stares. I look back down at my now sopping wet converse sneakers and, as I mentioned early, my old socks. I looked back at her, gosh why do people always look at me like that? Why won't she just go away? "Urm, um, you dropped your pocket." she looks down, and I walk away quickly toward the little house behind the trees. It really is a cute house. It's red. That's all it takes.

"I finally got a place!" I though a loud. The lady looked at me funny. "I'm sorry, I've just been to like 30 places, and none of them where right. Let's just say I found out why they still had vacancies." The girl, Liz, nodded her head in reply.

"Do you want the grand tour?" she asked. I nodded, unlike the other places I visited, I wasn't scared for my life, there was no Dark Arts crap, it was sanitary, it was organized, I could identify all of the scents I smelled, and it was in a great location. Liz smiled, "Well, you've been here for a total of five minutes, so I might not want you to live here. And, not to scare you or anything, but who knows, you may find something that you can't live with." she smiled. I liked her already. "Okay, so it's just me and Drake that live here. We each take turns doing the laundry, cooking, and cleaning, or other stuff. I expect everyone to get along, and that means privacy too. The only bedroom on this floor is mine, and there are three upstairs. I always keep one open, sort of. Right now, it's full of crap. The "empty" room is yours. I'm an editor for the Daily Prophet. Now, tell me about yourself." She smiled at me again and sat down on a couch in the living room.

I really hadn't listened to her except for the chores and rules part. I really liked this house. "I'm a second class Auror. I did a lot of random things before that. I'm kind of a music teacher. I teach them things like piano, violin, guitar, um what else, singing, lots of things. I went to school to be a healer, but I got bored with it I guess. Then I went to become an Auror, top of my class. I went through the three other stages, you know, fifth, fourth, and third classes in a few years."

"Wow, oh, do you want to tell me about your family?"

"Why not. Um, I was actually born in America and moved here when I was ten. I have two sisters and one brother and we grew up on a ranch. I went to Hogwarts then, and here I am now."

"Well, when do you want to move in?" she asked.

"Really? Oh, that's awesome. Um, today?" I asked.

"Sure, but I'm going to be gone, I have a meeting to go to today. Welcome home."

"Thank you so much Liz Armament." I couldn't have been happier. I had a home, a friend, and sopping wet socks.

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	2. Renovations

**Disclaimer-I own nothing, nodda, goose eggs, (or chicken eggs, whichever you prefer.)**

Chapter 2- Renovations

I spent the rest of the day moving into my new room. It wasn't really too big, but I had my own bathroom. It was pretty plain, and I planned to make some changes. Liz said that was fine as long as I didn't blow up the house (NO idea why she thought _that_). I decided to paint it. I grabbed my purse and apparated to the Leaky Caldron. I walked down Diagon Alley for a while until I came across a store called McAgee's Magical Improvements. Seemed like a good store to find paint.

I walked in and heard a bell sound in the distance. The store place was old and was crammed with all sorts of things.

"How can I help you?" an eerie voice creaked from behind a stack of old bottles and spell-o-tape.

"Um, hello. I need some pain, please." I asked, looking around the stack.

"Paint?" the voice questioned from behind a row of random books.

"Um, yeah. Uh, where are you?"

"This way." It grunted from behind a pile of something purple and orange. 'Oh, yeah, sure. Except the fact that I don't know what way we're going'. I thought.

"Oi! Where are you?"

"Right here!" he grunted. I saw a little man, no taller than my waist, appear from behind a box of light bulbs, which was across from the purple and orange things. He waddled over to an aisle and out of sight.

"Wait up!" I ran after him. Geesh, for a little man, he sure could move fast! He led me through a maze of aisles, always staying _just_ in my sight. Left, right, straight, turn, up the stairs, down, seriously! Then, it must have been like two hours, he stopped suddenly, I almost toppled over a pile of antlers!

"Color?!" he barked.

"Um, a blue-" I panted, "b-bright blue." He thrust his hand into the wall and pulled out a can of paint.

"Anything else?" He demanded, my, he was in a bad mood. He trotted off, and we were going through the maze again.

"Wait! I-I need brushes." I called after the little man. He just kept going through the enormous store.

A while later, he stopped and pushed a package I never saw him pick up into my hands. "I'll need to check out." I turned and he was gone. "Git," I muttered and looked around the store. "Oh, joy, I'm lost." I wondered around for a while. "Hello!" I called.

"Hello dear," I spun around. This voice didn't sound anything like the little jerk's, it was more like my grandpa's. I saw an old hunched over man with a smile. "I see you met my old friend Jordan. Sorry, he's a great illusionist." I looked around at the small but tidy store. I checked my watch, I had only been here for ten minutes. "I'm Mr. McAgee. Are you ready?"

"Oh, thank you." I smiled.

" Painting?"

"Yeah, just moved." He put my stuff in a bag and handed it to me.

"I apologize again about Jordan."

"Oh, don't worry about it, thank you." I smiled, you couldn't be angry around him, he was too sweet. I apparated right to my room and started right away.

I was going to just do it by magic, but I _might_ have dropped it, so did the rest by hand. Three hours later, I stood back and looked around. It was a bright light blue. I looked down, I was covered in smatterings of blue paint. I heard a giggle and looked around to find Liz, with a camera.

"Do you have a problem with my attire?" I asked her?

"NO, not at all, it'll be the next big thing, she took a picture.

"Here!" I threw some paint at her. She grabbed my brush and started "dying" my hair. "Thank you so much! I've always wanted blue hair... that smelled like my great aunt Erma." She laughed at me, which of course I couldn't stand, so I just 'accidentally' dumped the rest of the paint on her. We took a lot of pictures of our new line of clothing. It's gonna, like, totally, be, like, the bomb.

Twenty minutes later, we were both laughing our guts out and were covered in paint, though, that was just fine for us. Though my room wasn't in great condition. I cleaned the room, and ourselves with a few quick spells, then Liz ran to get the film developed. I laughed as I saw her now clean strawberry hair bounce away.

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**WHAT D'YA THINK? Review please, the next chapter should be longer. Plomise. **


	3. Waking the Dead

_Disclaimer: Harry Potter ain't mine._

_Chapter 3: Wake the Dead_

I spent the rest of the day unpacking. I never really knew how much crap I had, I was truly astounded. I sledged down the stairs and flopped onto the couch next to Liz.

"Tired?" I yawned. "I thought so." I looked at the TV, she was watching one of my favorite shows. I glanced up at the big clock, 9:36.

"Did you know that your brain takes an hour and a half before it can truly start the cycle of sleep after you watch something digital, such as a computer or TV?" she gave me a weird look, don't ask me why, I don't know. "Just a little bit of knowledge," I added. A commercial came on then, triggering another random fact I know. "Did you know that in 'Got Milk' commercials, they actually use a mixture of white paint and paint thinner than actual milk?" Cue weird look from Liz, it kinda reminded me of some blonde girl who just meant the creator of the geek squad. "Right, I'm gonna hit the horizontal." Liz gave me the look again. "Ya know, if you keep doing that-"

"My face is going to stay that way forever?" she asked in a know-it-all voice.

"Oh, well I was going to say you should go on a walk in some park with a lot of pigeons and birch trees. It might make you feel better if you were around your intellectual equals." she rolled her eyes at that. "If you roll your little eyes, I'm going to roll that little head. Don't bother reacting to that, my dad used to say it all the time, in fact, I think he still does." I just walked up the stairs and collapsed on my bed, or hit the horizontal, not waiting for Liz to respond to my random facts.

The next morning, I sat in the middle of my room wondering what to do. It was 5:38, so that meant I had been up for 49 minutes. You do the math, I don't want to, it's too early, and who does math anyway? I was usually up this early for chores, and I was still adjusting to sleeping in, which I knew would take a while. I would read right now, but I didn't feel like it. I would listen to music, but my ipod 'ran away'. Anything else I would do would wake Liz up, especially as I was a klutz. This was not all that amusing. That's when I started thinking (don't get scared, I do think, sometimes).

Ever since I had become an auror, I hadn't been teaching, which was one thing I really liked to do. I actually knew how to play a lot of things. Piano was my best, but I could also play the violin, flute, trumpet, trombone, sax, and guitar. I know, freaky, but music is my obsession. I loved to dance and sing too. Again, obsession. I was starting to think about beginning teaching again. It was so much fun for me, and I had hoped that the kids liked it too.

Being muggle-born, I learned how to play these all the 'hard' way, so that's how I taught. Lots of people like that, it was hard to find a person who didn't just bewitch the instrument to play, but actually knew how to play, and wasn't in a band or orchestra. I'm a very odd person.

6:26. I could go make breakfast now. Yes. Food is good.

"Morning! Whoa." I looked up twenty minutes later to see death greeting me. Yes, it was Liz, I think. I believe she could have scared Death to death (giggle giggle). Her curly red hair was honoring Frankenstein and I think she would have made Dracula proud. "Uh, so I take it your not a morning person?" I think I saw her head drop a little and then come back up, and the guttural noise she was making could have meant yes, but I'm not quite sure. I handed her a cup of coffee, a big cup. She drained it like it was water. "Okay, freaking me out a little, which is not easy to do." No response. "Oh, this'll be interesting." I smiled, then flipped my French toast.

When Death was awake, really awake, she went out shopping. She was out of quite a few potions ingredients and she needed more quills, and coffee, lots of coffee. I went upstairs to my room to begin to sort through my books, I had a lot.

I sat down amid the mountain of books and began searching for the shelves that I thought would fit my books. I had to move my dresser over, and I had misplaced my wand while I was searching. I began to put the books on the shelves, when I found the can of paint from yesterday, which was on the top shelf and fell on my head. Hey! I was blue again. That's when I heard a low gasp that turned into a chuckle. I spun around, and fell into the sea of books and paint, hair a mess. (I guess my inner conscience didn't want me to be clean for some reason, or maybe the paint just really likes me. I wish I had my wand.) I barely believed my eyes when I was falling. It couldn't be...

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So, what d'ya think? REVIEW. I love cliffys.


	4. Salami

Disclaimer: Me own nothing

Chapter 4-Salami

_It couldn't be..._

I got back up and saw again the white blond hair that I had gotten a flash of earlier when I fell.

"So, Salami, finally found your place?" he sneered gesturing toward the mess.

"What are you doing here Ferret?" I demanded.

"I live here." he said calmly. God, I loathed him. "When you're done cleaning up this mess, the room next door has a lot of crap. You must feel so belonging here, among your equals. Crap, and more crap."

"Oh, well, then this must be your stuff, if it is as useless as you say, then you should be right at home." I countered. Wait, "You live here?!"

"Yes, I just returned from a raid in Ireland. Would you mind hurrying it up? I'm tired and I want my room clean." he smirked. I always thought it was like someone mixed a skunk and a blast-ended skrewt together and gave it to him as a gift.

"Shut up, I am not the cleaning lady, if you want to seem like a clean person, it would take more than one cleaning lady anyway, more like a lifetime in a little room. But you must know what that is like, oh, that's daddy, isn't it?"

"Shut it Mudblood." He sneered at me.

"Oooh, looks like I hit a nerve. I have a name you know. " I spotted my wand on the floor. I snatched it up and sent the books onto the shelves, nice and neatly, at least that was done. "Now, get out of my room." I said calmly, I saw out of the corner of my eye his mouth drop open, snap back up, and I don't think I've ever seen such an angry look before, it was positively diverting. I broke out laughing.

"I won't live with scum like you."

"Well, Ferret, you look like you just saw the most disgusting thing in the world. But, you look like your normal self, so, go hide so you don't scare little kids. At least, if someone looks at you, they see both the appearance and what little you have inside. Oh, remember, I have a name." Malfoy was fuming, it was hilarious. How could a guy with such little intelligence get that angry, I didn't think he had enough brain cells.

"I won't live with scum like you." he repeated. It sounded like his vocabulary was quit limited too.

"So leave. Oh, something isn't going your way, boo hoo." I rolled my eyes then went to attend to my closet, which I had just piled with clothes instead of hanging. Malfoy stormed out, probably to go complain to Liz. Great. I could hear him. Telling Liz to make me move out, saying I was a mudblood, (that didn't get him any points) I wasn't tolerated, blah, blah, blah. Finally Liz just told him to talk to me about his 'problem'. Lucky for me.

"Ahem, you are going to move out." I heard him say, but I didn't even turn around.

"Sorry, what did you say, and to who are you addressing?"

"I said, you are moving out." He paused. "Syloni." I turned around to face him then. I didn't say anything for a moment. He actually said my name, even if it was just my surname. He must sure be desperate.

"Nope." I replied curtly.

"Now," was all he said. I walked really close to him.

"No, you move into a den, Ferret," I said. "That's where you belong, then nobody has to see your face." I snickered as he brought out his wand. "That's a wand Ferret," I said mockingly, "You can do magic with it, it's not just for poking people." I imagined his face getting stuck like that.

"Leave."

"Oh, Ferret has a temper. You know, there are these groups called Anger Management, you should go. Lots of Muggles do, oh wait, I don't know if they allow animals." He was about to hex me when I disarmed him. His wand went flying and I caught it in the air. He was knocked off his feet. He stood up slowly.

"Give me my wand."

"No," I said. All of a sudden he lunged, grabbed the wands and threw both of them out the window. We stood there a second, then a look of surprise dawned on his face as he realised what he just did. "You're not very bright, are you?" He covered the distance in two great strides and slapped me. "Oi, that's not very nice!" I screamed. I punched him then, he wasn't too happy. I was actually surprised that I got pain into the thick head. And he had a thick head, I was going to have some bruised knuckles.

Then the fight started. Punching, kicking, yelling, blood, crunch of broken bones. I faintly heard Liz running up the stairs and scream. She disappeared with a pop. Malfoy started to choke me (he really does have anger problems). Liz appeared with Fred then (I thought she looked familiar, she's a friend of the twins). He wasn't much help, he just started betting Liz, who didn't respond, on how hurt Malfoy would be.

Malfoy dropped my suddenly. I heard Liz scream my name. Fred summoned our wands and threw mine to me. Malfoy quickly picked his up, I turned to hex him and he did the same. I screamed a spell at the same time The Ferret did and then we were blasted apart, both hitting the opposite wall. Then, it was black…

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**Ronnie.**


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